CornCon 2018

The second celebration of all things corn held at Human Flesh Body World (following 2017’s inaugural convention). From the Facebook event:

Are you a person or party animal who likes corn? Have you ever wanted to attend a corn convention to meet other like-minded corn likers? CornCon is Portland’s Premiere Corn Convention, coming Saturday, September 22nd to Human Flesh Body World for the second year in a row!

SCHEDULE OF EVENTS (SUBJECT TO CHANGE):
1pm CornCon officially opens
1pm All corntest applications open

Backyard Schedule
2pm-3pm Burnt Corn Meditation with Cookie
3pm-4pm Shuck Off! – Corn Shucking Contest
4pm-5pm The Queen’s Corn Eating Contest
5pm-6:30pm CreamCorn Wrestling
7pm-7:30pm Diana Jared’s Corn Salad Demo
7:45pm-8:15pm The Halloweener’s Tribute to Spaghetti the Duck
Vendors close by 8:30pm

Basement Schedule
3pm-7pm Corn Con Chill – A Mini CornCon Film Festival and Chill Space
7:30pm-8:15pm Presentation – “200 Pictures of Corn (Drawn in Meetings at Work)” by Brad Kerr
8:15pm-8:30pm Presentation – “A History of Cron” by Darius Kazemi
8:30pm-9:30pm CornCon Presents: Spec Script – Veggie Tales Edition
10pm-10:30pm CoRn the KoRn Cover Band
11pm EVERYTHING MUST END EVERYONE GO HOME

🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
🌽🌽CORN VENDORS🌽🌽
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽

Hoopla Martinez
– Elote (Mexican Corn on the Cob)
– Esquite (Mexican Corn in a Cup)

The Lunch Lady
– Corn Chowder (Vegan)
– Corn Bread (Both Spicy and Not) (Vegetarian)
– Basil and Sweet Corn Ice Cream (Vegetarian)

Ch’aska Quillo
– Choclo con Queso (Boiled Large-Kernel Peruvian Corn on the Cob Served with a Slice of Cheese and a Spicy Green Aji Sauce)

May Cat
– Thai Tapioca Corn Pudding w/ Assorted Toppings (Coconut, Coconut-Jackfruit, Lychee)

CornHub
– Caramel Corn (Optional Beer Pairing)

Classic Foods w/ Eggy
– Corn Spaghetti with Corn Truffle Sauce
– Corn Penne Salad with Fresh Corn, Sweety Drop Peppers, Avocado

ACTIVITIES
Corn Face Painting by Iris Face Paints
Corn Marriages by Diana Jared
Corn Sandbox in the Corn Con Chill Space
AND OF COURSE…Just a Simple Game of Cornhole!

Cover: $7 suggested donation. All remaining funds after paying back event costs will be donated to Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women USA. Human Flesh Body World is an all ages space, but we do advise parental discretion as there may be content (e.g. swear words) and substances (e.g. weed) unsuitable for babies and dogs.

Accessibility: CornCon 2K18 is being held at Human Flesh Body World, a private residence. At this time, the only wheelchair accessible space is the basement. We have street level access through the garage door to the basement. It is about 6 steps from street level to the sideyard/backyard, and 6 steps up from backyard to main house/bathroom. We apologize for the inconvenience and we are actively looking into sustainable and affordable solutions to broaden accessibility to all of CornCon.

Disclaimer: CornCon is held at a show house space (a private residence) that does not tolerate racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and other forms of bigotry. No cops, no narcs, no creeps, and most importantly…NO POTATOES! If you are in violation of the trust and safety of the residents of Human Flesh Body World or any event attendees, you will be promptly removed from the private premises. To attend CornCon is a privilege, and it is our right to reserve this space for Cool Corn Heads ONLY! So please remember to keep it chill and let’s keep CORNIN IN THE FREE WORLD!!

Want to see CornCon 2018 photos without text? Click here!

CornCon 2018 started off with a pop, featuring cornstumes, corn dogs, dried corn standing, and burnt corn meditation by Jagger Blaec.

JP the Cornclops
Corndog
In loving memory of Spaghetti the Duck
Corndogs
"Burnt Corn" meditation by Jagger Blaec "Cookie"
Corn love ❤️ 🌽
my toes in corn

Shuck Off!! The corn shucking contest followed, interrupted by moments of intrigue and surprise – one contestant revealed a scorned potato, and baby corn abortion protestors interrupted the event halfway through. Cornie Connie was crowned champion shucker.

Saggy Mumbles starts the Shuck Off! (50 points)
Inka Corn (71.5 points)
Haas with an intimate shuck
The kiss of Cornnie
Angela (68 points)
Naomi RAWdriguez (75 points)
Haas charming the audience
Semifinals: Naomi RAWdriguez vs Cornnie
Husky Sandusky (63 points)
Georgia Shuckin' Weener Bad-Boy (65 points)
Haas reveals a spud!! (0 points; disqualified)
Protestors interrupted the event to fight the consumption of baby corn
The surprise birth of a baby corn!
Finals: Angela vs Cornnie
Corn shucking judges deliberate
Hella Husky (65 points)
Cornnie (86 points)
Semifinals: Angela vs Inka Corn
Protestors shouting over the judges
Cornnie is crowned champion shucker

Then, somebody brought a baby goat and I got to hold the goat!

Diana with goat
Corbin with goat
Baby goat 😊

But we couldn’t just spend all day holding goats – it was time to fill a kiddy pool with creamed corn and milk…

Getting corny
Cracking open canned corn
Stephanie pours the corn
More creamed corn
Stephanie pours the milk
Milk and corn

The stage was set, and CreamCorn wrestling began. Eight brave souls entered the ring, but only Corny Daniels came out alive.

Cornholio vs Uncle Hank
Cornholio dominating Uncle Hank
The Kernel conquers
Semifinals: The Kernel vs the Great Cornholio
Cornholio and Uncle Hank getting wet
The great Cornholio claims victory
Hollywood Khatami wows the crowd
Hollywood Khatami sprays the camera
Cornucopia drops from the ring!
The Kernel advances to the finals
Cornholio holds Uncle Hank
Celebratory spray
Hollywood Khatami vs Corny Daniels
Corn spitting
Corn Brûlée celebrates sweet success
Cornholio takes the lead over Uncle Hank
Keith "The Kernel" Cameron eliminates Cornan the Barbarian
Corny Daniels goes for the hair
Corny Daniels moves on the semifinals
More milk!

Proceeding on to more dignified matters, Diana Jared gave a demo of her famous corn salad, followed by a brief intermission.

Diana Jared's Famous Corn Salad Demo - shave the cobs
Add the olive oil
Corn joy
Corn talk
Dice the onions
Add the pepper
Add the onions
The corn salad is a hit!
The Internet was made for 🌽
Sasha
Dice the tomatoes
Hot dog baby

The Halloweener next took the stage with an emotional tribute to the slain Spaghetti the Duck.

The Halloweener at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
The Halloweener at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
The Halloweener at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
The Halloweener at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
The Halloweener at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
The Halloweener at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
The Halloweener at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
The Halloweener at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
The Halloweener at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
The Halloweener at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
The Halloweener at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
The Halloweener at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
The Halloweener at CornCon - Sept 22 2018

As the evening turned to night, I descended into the basement for Brad Kerr’s “200 Pictures of Corn (Drawn in Meetings at Work)”, which admittedly didn’t capture particularly well on disposable camera, and a Spec Script reading of Veggie Tales.

"200 Pictures of Corn (Drawn in Meetings at Work)" by Brad Kerr: Pop Corn
"200 Pictures of Corn (Drawn in Meetings at Work)" by Brad Kerr: Corn Man?
"200 Pictures of Corn (Drawn in Meetings at Work)" by Brad Kerr: Corn Bat
"200 Pictures of Corn (Drawn in Meetings at Work)" by Brad Kerr: Corn Mystery
"200 Pictures of Corn (Drawn in Meetings at Work)" by Brad Kerr: Corn Car
Spec Script reading of Veggie Tales

Finishing out the night was the headliner, CoRn, the KoRn Cover Band.

CoRn, the KoRn Cover Band at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
CoRn, the KoRn Cover Band at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
CoRn, the KoRn Cover Band at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
CoRn, the KoRn Cover Band at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
CoRn, the KoRn Cover Band at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
CoRn, the KoRn Cover Band at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
CoRn, the KoRn Cover Band at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
CoRn, the KoRn Cover Band at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
CoRn, the KoRn Cover Band at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
CoRn, the KoRn Cover Band at CornCon - Sept 22 2018
Jen the Girl Who Likes Corn

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